5 PHRASES narcissists use to MANIPULATE you

Why does Ramani look purple ??🙄Great video tho…

My narc sister said, "I'm sorry you feel that way" to me all the time. That's not an apology. She's apologizing for something that is not hers. My feelings are mine. This was her way of getting out of apologizing for what they did. Every time she would say this, I would call her on it. "That's not an apology. Apologize for what you did." Talk about narcissistic rage! I don't use that phrase in conversation because, having been on the receiving end, I know what it feels like when it is said to me.

Yes… I had therapist after therapist not understand my family & marital situation. I was told by one therapist (with a PhD from UCLA) that I was the one more likely to cheat in the marriage since I had confronted my narcissistic husband that I thought he was cheating. As it turned out, my husband was in fact cheating & had been throughout our relationship. I, on the other hand, had not cheated on him at all. What an idiot therapist!!! I remember leaving her office that day in tears (with my husband) realizing that he had charmed her. All taking him to that therapy session did was empower him more… and encourage him to continue to lie & gaslight me. What a shitty therapist!!! It felt like such a betrayal as I had been seeing her (by myself) for quite a long time… and she really turned on me (or so it felt). But I have had one bad therapist after another who wanted to judge me and not understand what I was living through with the narcissists in my life. In my marriage & family of origin.

Hearing Dr Ramani speak on how our society celebrates narcissists and believes they are such upstanding individuals makes me feel sick… and then how targets are not believed. This has been my experience “to a T.” It makes me just want to isolate myself completely and have nothing to do with people anymore. It’s about the only way one can avoid narcs and protect themselves. No wonder I isolate so much.

Truly the narcs in my life have caused so much harm. Even my physical health has suffered. I now have metastatic cancer and my narc abusers are in much better health. Even the narcs in my family who have 20 plus years on me! Funny how that works isn’t it?

I would love for Dr Ramani to do a video on the damage these relationships do to our health and how targets of narcissistic abuse may even commit suicide. (I know she has done a video on our health suffering but would love a more in depth video on it. I’d be willing to bet our cemeteries are full of victims of narcissistic abuse who either took their own lives or succumbed to illness. And society & all the narc’s fan club are none the wiser! They get away with it.

I said "I'm sorry you feel that way" to a narcissist recently.

"Im sorry that you feel that way" and "oh well, that's your choice" are the mantra of early 21st Cent former-USA

Nobody’s perfect, I’ve heard it a lot

My husband talks to his ex's brothers daughter..if I go in the bedroom to get away from the loud talking..after he's done he opens the door n says either you can come out or are you hidding..very condensending…to me..makes me feel like I have to have his permission to come out..like I'm a joke..sad..I say first off if I want to go into the bedroom ..that's my choice if I want not too then I have that choice as well..😊

Nobody's perfect. I heard it from my n.p. so often I cannot say how often. This is also the reason this is his favorite movie: Some like it hot. Because it is the last sentence of the movie. He always said this when I dared to point out how he hurt me.

I sometimes tell my toddler "I'm sorry you feel that way" when things aren't going the way she wants them to, like when she wants to watch TV but it's time for bed, but it's always accompanied by hugs and a playful bedtime routine.

I feel like there's a difference between that and saying it to be dismissive.

Nobody's perfect is only for the narcissist, when you mess up it's cuz you're a fuck up.

My narc told me “I’m sorry you feel that way” when I explained to him why I wanted a divorce. He dealt with none of the issues and when straight to that apology. It triggered me soo bad! And I snapped. That’s when I knew I couldn’t deal anymore. Zero accountability for actions and words. I moved 11/30. I’m only a month out and it’s hard. But the peace I feel in my own home is amazing. I will heal and flourish with my children. Claiming it 🥹

My partner just smashed my windscreen and left me a day before New Year’s Eve because I asked to see my friend dot a couple of hours, and me and partner hadn’t made plans. He went absl mad and told me to bring him all his stuff back or he would turn up at my house. I went to take it to him. He got in my car. Refused to leave. Started having a massive go at me and calling me narcissistic and telling me how horrible I was for wanting to see my friend. He then refused to get out my car and smashed my windscreen. (He did send money to pay for it later). He then made me drive him to the station, before leaving me to go see all his friends on new years while I was sat at home. When he came back. He blamed me for all of it, took no accountability, and said I dragged his friend into it because I had posted on social media about the smashed windscreen and she sent it to him so I did message her because I was upset that she would do that.

Yes, it’s been said a lot.

I have to say it at work. I’m sorry you feel
That we should pay your claim. But you never applied for insurance lol

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A VERY Malignant Narcissist taught me to say that. Thankfully I dont say it anymore. It really is "chocolate-covered rotten fish". I agree its a form of Gaslihting & self pity for the Narcissist. I have mostly used it against toxic & abusive Narcissists or those I've caught Gaslighting me like crazy.©️

So it was the perfect title for Bill Burr's comedy special 😅

I have said that but I've gotten better of when I catch myself saying that, I re-apologize and call myself out lol

"I'm sorry to feel that way." I actually never said that because I always felt insulting to the other person. Of course, I wasn't aware of the depth of its meaning; I felt it was wrong to say it. Also, I've never used the other four statements, but I heard others saying them.

The fake and phony apologies from a destructive narcassist is always delivered eith contempt or not at all. From experience it might sound like"I'm sorry you feel that way", "I'm sorry… BUT" – followed by a deflection, or an excuse wrapped in a delusion of what actually happened – usually, with you as the person at fault.

If there is ever an "I'm sorry", it'll be because it benefits them. And for this, they'll make you pay at some point.

I think most of us mean "I'm sorry that I made you feel that way and I will try to do better next time." and just clumsily shorten it to , "I'm sorry you feel that way." But you are right. Words matter especially when we have already hurt someone, and I hope that we will learn to do better in the future even when responding to a narcissist. I'm just 7 minutes unto the video and hoping I can formulate better honest responses for my covert narcissist husband whom I have been considering as a roommate and not a husband for 6 months now.

Last month after 18 months of learning about covert narcissism, I finally snapped big time and told him that being married to him for 18 years has been a soul crushing experience. The look in his eyes told me that he might snap and kill me, so I told him that he needed to research covert narcissism. My finally having a conversation with him for the first time in months must have triggered his love bomb opportunity to gather data to later weaponize instincts, because it turned into a calm conversation about narcissism and the evidence that I had witnessed over 18 years that convinced me 100% that is his problem.

Today was another crazy triangulation experience with his doctor's office. Long story … led to me for only the 3rd time telling him that he is a liar, angrily showing him the evidence and since he IS sick, scared and needing me right now, switched to love bomb mode. It felt good to be honest and call out his lie rather than let him gaslight me as I had done for 17 years before learning about covert narcissism.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! !!!(((HUG)))!!!

"I'm sorry you feel that way" was my daily reality, then it'd be followed up by a raging tantrum and I felt confused and so sad.