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alanis in conversation with dr. ramani durvasala
alanis in conversation with dr. ramani durvasala
#alanis #conversation #ramani #durvasala
“Alanis Morissette”
Alanis sat with Dr. Ramani Durvasala and dove deeply into the effects of narcissism on relationships and culture. In this conversation, various classes of personality disorders and styles are clarified, along with the motivations that drive the different profile types. Thoughts on where change…
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![GT Goku Vs Goku – Dragonball Hyper EP2 (Part 1) [Kaaydo]](https://i0.wp.com/res.cloudinary.com/glide/image/fetch/https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FatJXT9C3580%2Fmaxresdefault.jpg?w=390&resize=390,220&ssl=1 "GT Goku Vs Goku – Dragonball Hyper EP2 (Part 1) [Kaaydo]")
This was hard to get through with Alanis’ interruptions and interjections. Dr. Ramani is the expert here.
I'm a 48 year old man. Jagged Little Pill came out when I was 20 in university and the cool kids listened to it. By the time I was working in London at 25, Under Rug Swept came out. It took me years to realise it was about gaslighting. For some reason this song comes into my head about once a week. I think my dad acts like the character in the song. 'If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been successful'. Im a student of literature. From a composition standpoint its so clever the way Alanis speaks the words of the manipulator from the past, then answers the manipulator in the present.
Wooooow!! Two legends!
gorgeous 🥰
Nancy McWilliams is a much better source of information on this.
A great meeting of minds. I personally find when thinking about the competitive… better than , for me reeks of upmanship. Healthy competition is life we all know there is usually certain outcomes with numbers… a job interview … one person gets the role. Sometimes it goes sidewise.. people lie on their CV… omit info to get over the line. But everyone putting their vote in, knows there is one role for the taking. Upmanship , when someone is doing this to you… they will win at all costs. But you don’t know that, you don’t know the rules and boundaries they are manipulating. There may not even be anything to win… you are just going about your life doing what you need to do. Work, relationships… but something in them gets triggered and they are in a delusional race with you. It is insidious and systemic. There is a ugliness that is oppressive and disturbing. The better they are doing this… coverts are the best at this. But know this you will at best… be abused and eroded, and at worst annihilated. Upmanship is going to happen there is no negotiation. People like this cannot achieve what they need and want.. in a healthy negotiating way. So they have to twist and manipulate to get want they want. You will never have a good relationship with these souls. Their thin skin and frail egos propel this. Just a few musings from someone who experienced 20 years with a husband whose status meant, for him to win…I had to loose. Never have an intimate partner who displays this… you can never be safe. Take care.😊
When I think of histrionic, I think of Anna Nicole Smith. I do think histrionic, like borderline, veers into C-PTSD. I’m not a fan of the histrionic label. I also have a lot of compassion for Anna Nicole Smith.
I love Dr Ramani! It’s wonderful seeing you two intersect!
I’m back and I was able to watch the whole thing. The only time I wished I paused was to describe what a convert narcissist looks like and now I totally forgot.
Well done and with conversation and labels and putting it into context.
I figured out a way to express myself now.
I was struggling with that at first.
I had a very busy life and no chance in hell I could have a sorry ass through all that.
So finally, once I weaved through all that I crashed down for a bit and I didn’t know how to say it. I just said “I want to be a narcissist!”
But really life went so fast and I wanted to recuperate from everything.
Like all those missed opportunities I could of seen how I felt while in the fast lane.
Like get some real distance from it by analyzing small bits at a time.
At that speed- like I was frustrated the information didn’t really stick.
I wrote perfect notes on and see a day or weeks later journalizing about another interaction with an ex. So aggravating then and now as I re read my notes.
Anyhow and what life looks like now and what it will look like as soon as my motivation gets up to speed again.
Thanks again.
I used DR. Ramanas I notes when I talked to the ex. I type it all down and when he called I was able to maintain a good flow catching all the bred crumbling. So cool.
All my best and thanks again- that was extremely helpful:)
It's a lifetime journey to heal these wounds. It was hard to stick with this at times. Thank you for sharing this discussion.
1111 begots xo
11:11 xo
Thank you Alanis, your singing was inspiring and helping me get through in my most stressful times of my life, when I was far from friends and support, although the genre of music was not my first choice – now I fully understand why – your beautiful soul shines so much warmth and love and is beyond a genre. I am grateful for your interview with Dr. Ramani Durvasala, very educational and broadening our horizons on human behavior styles. ❤
hearing the term "narcissistic style" is confusing. I've been dealing with people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and also met folks that seem textbook narcissist personality disorder. part of that is based on what I learned from Dr. Ramani. so, calling it a "style" doesn't ring true to me.
🤔 I do think the covert and the communal/matyristic narcissist can be spiritual to a degree to either be a shameful victim or to use spirituality to garner trust or moral high ground. Unfortunately, those are some of the types I’ve encountered. Imagine a covert narcissistic Jehovahs Witness. 🤯 A narcissistic Wiccan coven leader. (Can’t make this ish up). The extreme communal form is a Jim Jones type, right? But the most malignant types, IMO & experience, cannot connect with the Divine. I think because there is a humility that comes with true spirituality in whatever form. To be willing to acknowledge that there is a Power greater than myself is inherently not a narcissistic quality.
Her face has always been so beautiful 😊 amazing voice too! 🙌🏽
🧐 I disagree that people can’t make significant changes in their lives/personalities/perceptions. For example, recovery is all about accountability & making effort to acknowledge & change character defects. Is it hard to change things about ourselves things that seem innate? Of course & perhaps they don’t fully go away, but we can better recognize & acknowledge our lower patterns. However, in my experience, the narcissist cannot accept accountability or be honest or change.
I have a friend who uses vague speech to keep the conversation on her. She'll say. The other day, I met that guy from the place, and we talked about going there. So then you're supposed to say what day, what guy, what place etc etc so one sentence gives her 39 minutes of me me me.
I used to think she was honest and her own boss, but if you sell yourself with $500 VIP tickets see your show, you're nothing but a music business puppet fulfilling a roll – "It give the fans a chance to Prove they want to see me" no it doesn't, it just puts money in your bank, nobody ever gets to see you – If you want to see people go to a bar or join a club
Please don't put down teachers. I taught for 36 years. I was determined and dedicated. The problem today is corporate. Corporations want their hands on school money; therefore we have charter schools. How to wreck the public schools as an excuse to build more charters? TESTS What testing has done is horrid, and the CMAS is a horrid test. (Teachers have to teach to these monster tests.) Because younger teachers make less money, admin went after older teachers. (It is important to have new thoughts and old wisdom in building. The latter is gone.) I loved my kids, but after NCLB, I was treated horribly. FYI: Between 2002 and 2016 when I retired , I had 5 different principals. Of the 5: two were narcissists; one was a sociopath. The desire to blow up schools has made them a great environment for these monsters. I didn't see said monsters before NCLB. I WAS BRAVE. I STAYED DESPITE THE INSANITY. MOSTLY YOUNG TEACHERS STAY FOR A FEW YEARS AND LEAVE, BUT THERE ARE STILL SOME LIKE ME = THEY STAY AND CARE.
Duuuuude xo
Ramani is lying lying lying charm charisma.
Thats how you know Ramani is a liar and has zero qualms lying
Her boyfriend or ex boyfriend is the epitome of charm
You see her smiling,
Shes a doctor, people need to trust her
That is a huge lie she made, if you ever saw her partner or ex partner, it was extremely charming
And she says she stays away from charm
Such a bullshit lie
Love this so much!!❤
This is a bitter reality, we all need to experience serious narcissistic abuses in order to notice, study, acknowledge, process and heal to be narcissistic proof person without losing our truth self.
Now when I notice them I sit back, monitor and observe the person and I prepare myself to deal with them.
Doctor Ramani and Alanis Morissette…
What a gift tonight.
Thank you both. 🙏
P.S.: Alanis, you were a child when you wrote some words that for me (older than you) were so relevant. If you feel more comfortable, you can call it "serendipity" and it's so ok .Ah! Almost forgot it! Yours was the best depiction of God in a movie ever IMHO (just, pretty please, don't sing in God mode 😛 )
“Why can’t you be like your sister?” Wowzers…. hearing this about my younger brother just hit me in the gut. 😢
Good music video. More melodies next time but I still enjoyed this one
Great conversation, I remember listening to her music. I came here through following ramani, no offense! 🙂
Perhaps not the place for this question but if anyone knows, is there a covert malignent hybrid?
Defo a covert. But alot of fear, coercion, rage, very consistent and systematic over years.
Alanis must have met a few narcs in the entertainment business. The only other musician that I am aware of who has touched on the subject, is Mags from a-Ha. He even unsuccessfully tried to get his bandmates to do group therapy. Thanks for posting this discussion.