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20 Questions To Ask If You’re Being Emotionally Abused (Or If
20 Questions To Ask If You’re Being Emotionally Abused (Or If You’re The Abuser)
#Questions #Youre #Emotionally #Abused
“cLuStEr B MiLkShAkE”
Questions taken from the book The Emotionally Abusive Relationship-How to stop being abused and how to stop abusing. I also give my perspective as a narcissist, as the abuser, and how I feel about you doing these things to me. 🌈
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💖hahaha when you joke and im like your baaaaad 😂
I see myself occasionally when u talk heheh
Happy birthday Sara 🎉🦅🤟🦈
What’s your perception on hitting back sarcasm with another clever put down/joke? Looking back at an ex’s little put downs in front of others, I actually at first took the comments as being nice 😆 pet names, but flung them right back. In hindsight I realise he cringed every time 😂It can get wearing though once reality hits home. Humour is essential but once the line gets crossed too much I’m out the brain just switches off now
As far as giving someone "the business" as i like to call it as long as everyone is laughing its all good I've been made fun of a lot by my family and i give them the business back but nothing that cuts deep and yeah we should be able to laugh at ourselves and it can also be a healthy thing to get people to losen up and not take themselves too seriously also from my experience most people are controlling its just to what extent and how they implement it nice video good information👍
Hiding behind "I'm just joking" while making passive aggressive digs was definitely the narcissist's go to in my life, a couple of them actually. Most people can laugh at themselves and take a joke I think but if they don't feel any type of love from that person and it's all just subtle put downs it wears on you. I feel more covert manipulative types of abusers will go for the more passive aggressive abuse/punishments. Mine would say "I'm just giving you shi*" while saying the meanest things to me. At a certain point it really does get old to listen to or to have to constantly verbal banter/fight to keep the person entertained. I like the light hearted fun joking around but the subtly mean guessing if they're serious joking around, no thanks.
In a situation where ur in a room with all of ur former partners who abandoned you and you select one (or more), what factors shape this choice? Despite all introjects being entrenched in your mind and snapshots/partners being open to reidealization (all partners are willing to reengage in the shared fantasy) and given their interchangeable representation of the mother, what criteria ultimately guides your selection?
You're the bomb. Good review and commentary. Insightful.
I respectfully disagree about mean jokes not qualifying as abuse. I'm from a crass family & equally traumatized friend circle in old school NYC where cut-throat "humor" is a show of love, so I have a thick skin & dark sense of humor. However, humor is so easily a way to gaslight verbal abuse. My cruel BPD ex constantly made fun of my body (publicly & privately) til I felt hideous, and he knew I had body dysmorphia. He "joke" broke up with me via text omw to a friend's funeral & let me believe it for 2 hrs before admitting he was joking. Yrs post-break up, on x-mas eve at a mutual friend's house…I'd found out earlier that day, that my incestuous dad had died…we were all playing cards against humanity, my turn, and he played cards that answered something about a father & incest, in front of like 10 people, only 3 of which knew that story, all of which knew he died. So i laughed it off and chose his answer, just to avoid showing weakness. His sense of "humor" alone was enough to qualify as abuse & reason to leave, but he gave me many others too. (My fault I put up with him for 4 yrs, as it took me close to 12 to heal the wounds he caused, including the endless "jokes".)
Im halfway through and im going to re listen to this and tally up who is guilty of each question in my relationship. It will be a good self reflection exercise without over blaming myself.
We are not talking atm and its my fault this time so i need to be better. 😮💨 I need to buy a shame bell.