Hyper-v
How to Support A Partner With BPD
How to Support A Partner With BPD
#Support #Partner #BPD
“Lise Leblanc”
I get questions all the time from men who want to know how they can respond better to their BPD partner’s behaviour, how they can learn to manage themselves through the ups and downs, and what they can do to support her better. In this video, I am providing 10 do’s and don’ts to help you…
source
To see the full content, share this page by clicking one of the buttons below |
This sounds like a miserable life. Basically the BPD patient gets to act however they want and it's excused meanwhile the partner takes in all the abuse and all the whipping and all the beatings and is expected to handle it with poise and maturity. Add exhaust every last ounce of energy in doing so. Oh yeah that's a great life that's a great life that everybody wants to live
What the hell am I supposed to say to potential partners,hey I have this condition that will drive you mentally insane if you dont pull your socks up and get studying on how to handle my bpd ass. Its ridiculous and very lonesome.
Is it especially hard for people with OCD to have a partner with BPD? OCD patients seek security and control, and can develop obsessions if the relationship is so unstable
Is it also especially hard for fragile narcissist to have a BPD partner, because of being permanently over- and then devalued be the partner, which fosters self-esteem fluctuations?
Diagnosed 4 years ago but totally denied it
Now I begin to understand 😢
Definitely feels like being afflicted by a curse🤦
For now I am not treated and have to be carefull what kind of persons Im around
Some people triggers my self wayyyyyyy more than some others
Wanking on eggshell yeaa exactly both walking on eggshells 😓🙄😬😑
Should I be contacting ex's to excuse my selfnfor all I made them live true
Iv been so blind, I'm 40 and I don't even know myself , I do not know what is real friendship, neather what is REAL LOVE 🫂😕
I have a question. Is there any hope for the relationship with the covert BDP? Even if they have done things that they might be regretting now? Like verbal abuse, gaslighting, ghosting etc. I still love her like no other, but from the distance. I can see the traumatised innocent children inside of her. I pray that she will heal from her past childhood wounds and live the life fully. I don’t think I will ever love someone else the way I loved her. 😔 She has hurt me to do point that all of childhood issues come to the surface and I feel so vulnurable and not feeling strong enough to be her rock. I wish I could, I believe our love is worth fighting for, eventhough the pain has almost killed me, but I can’t do this alone. I don’t know what to do. Please share your honest experience if you can.
#1. Don't
My biggest struggle with this disorder, is feeling like someone is going to leave even though it may not be real, I ask the person for reassurance every now and then and I noticed that no one really likes to do that, even if I explain to them that as child my family orphaned me and I lived with an aunt or an uncle or a stranger then went back to the same abusing family who treated me like shit. just trying to explain to them why the reassurance is important to me. or why I may ask certain questions. it is kind of hard for people to fathom the intense reaction happening inside even if I do not project it, and when they start saying stuff like oh ur too dramatic stop worrying or stop overthinking, it just makes it worse as mentioned in this video. I kind with time to just live and not have a special someone, because living here in Egypt makes it pretty difficult to open up to a soul and tell them hey, I have a mental disorder and here is how you can deal with me, pofff 2-4 weeks in and they are gone. not their fault though but hey life is tough.
Our daughter has BPD. Shes 22 , Diagnosed about three years ago. It’s been an incredibly difficult time. We do our best and we all , including her brothers struggle with her volatile mood swings. She’s cut us off , ruined friendships, relationships, damaged us , blamed us. , abused drugs , tried to take her own life , but we love her. It’s unconditional. Shes also got amazing qualities. Shes beautiful, she’s charismatic she can be so outgoing and fun…And I , as a parent and as a person has only just really realized and accepted that this truly is an illness. I’m ashamed to say I never listened or researched enough. I just hope it’s not too late. We love you always Ruby ❤️
Wow just found out me and my dad have this. 😢
Looking for input or opinions; gf has mood swings .. but what worries me the most is she talks to her self a lot or more like almost everything she’s thinking she says it out loud like if she’s having a conversation with her self …. First i thought I could be BPD but I’m not sure .. thanks
Her? My bpd stalker ex is a HE
Lise, I find your videos extremely valuable. Your content is in-depth, thorough, straightforward, and easily understandable. I wish I'd seen your videos during my own relationship with a woman with BPD. Hers was severe, and definitely combined with other comorbid mental disorders. During our relationship I wound up questioning my grip on reality. In my vain attempts to help her, I eventually chose to fall into a pattern of behavior that resulted in a felony conviction, loss of my professional license, and incarceration in federal prison. This woman died of accidental drug overdose in 2018, but the scars I bear from our time together will stay with me forever. My heart goes out to all BPD sufferers, as it is obviously a living hell at times.
How does the partner without BPD prevent from growing "numb?" I no longer accept or believe his apologies. We tried working with 5 marriage therapists and have been dismissed bc of his behavior. What now? How does his demanding of respect fit into all of this?
Ok but my boyfriend has BPD and you only reference women?
What you said around the 13 minute mark of "if they don't feel bad, then it's not bpd" are you talking guilt or general depression or both?
Just cause i deal with someone who feels horrible about their life, but has no remorse for her actions or is otherwise incapable of "remembering" when brought up in couples counseling
I can fix her.
All great tips, except mine is 'quiet bpd' and all of her turmoil is inward, she shuts down and disappears. It's rough.
DO : Leave them
DON'T : Reply to their texts
People with Borderline shouldn’t be in relationships it’s bad for everyone. Men also have borderline.
So helpful, thank you.
I have BPD, ADHD and CPTSD.
I'm 68 years old.
My beautiful wife is still with me after 44 years of marriage.
It's through her persistence and research that I have been improving of the years.
Hang in there !
You are giving the worst advices’
You are not a correct physiologist! Get some ff the internet!
No talent!
"stay off the roller coaster" LOL!!
My life partner of 17 years has personality disorder….for 17 years we've had the cycle of she'd be on track taking her meds counseling….then she gets bored quits taking her meds,gets depressed, ends up relapsing on whatever drug,she's cheated on me 7 times, usually she gets to the point where she..snaps back into reality..realizes we have kids..grandkids ..a family…..then the cycle repeats….well this time ….7 months ago,we get back from vacation. ….she leaves me for another man….who she married a week ago…..I AM DEVASTATED….we planned for 5 years to get marries…even got the marriage liscence….and she does this…..I'm lost without her
but what are some things you can say to calm a bpd person?
This sounds exhausting if not impossible. Eff that!
Support them right out the door
Sounds like I'm I'm a hostage situation
Great video… only thing I would like to offer is your video is if the woman has BPD.. I’m in a relationship with my future husband and would love for him to watch this AND the message is “she” and that may come back as I have BPD.. just an offer. Maybe it be male or female. I have done lots of research and yes it can be either… just a thought. Thank you for the information.
I feel like she’s giving the partners of pwBPD hope. There is no hope with someone with BPD who refuses to get help. Plain and simple.
Sepia homeopathy for this mindset
All these tips will literally form codependent relationships and make you enmeshed/trauma bonded. Better advise would be if they haven’t been committed to treatment for at least 1 year and aren’t showing signs of remission you should avoid/leave.
Asking a neurotypical healthy person to be with someone who is treatment resistant or isn’t even in treatment is like asking a normal person to help you treat cancer. Quiet frankly it’s impossible.
I didn’t know she had a this type of problem . I just matched and escalated the arguments thinking a rational person would stand down and come around when she wanted me to spend money on her . Take her out and do fun things. She literally flared up on vacation and I put her on a bus back home then baffled she did same thing month later on another vacation and acted surprised when I put her on a plane .
Wish I knew this then I would’ve done things totally different .
People who are here for their girlfriends/boyfriends ↙️
Thank you
Do: run away
Don't: stay and deal with the abuse
i did not know i had bpd until i cheated in my first long term relationship which was extremely out of character for me. looking back on it, it is scary how many times i split. after i cheated, i got diagnosed w/ bpd and bipolar. i am ashamed of what i did but i got meds and have educated myself a lot so that i know how to manage my symptoms in future relationships
I have BPD, and other things, and choose to remain single as I don’t want to put anyone through what I deal with everyday.
My mother had this disorder, undiagnosed. One thing a therapist said that always stuck with me was: “As long as you continue to be in a relationship with someone with this disorder you will be in pain. I think If you have a choice then leave. Let them get help you are not going to help them. It takes an enormous amount of work to be in relation to someone with this issue and it is more likely that they will disregulate you. I have incredible empathy for those with this disorder and I have even more empathy for their families. It took me a long time to know sometimes I need to have that empathy from a distance. If they person with BPD is a boss, a client, a child, a sick parent etc and you have to deal with them then do the best you can. If you are not stuck then run. Run away very fast. They will find someone else to meet their needs.
I’m not diagnosed with BPD but a lot of the symptoms line up. I’m honestly terrified and I can’t afford to get help so I’m in this constant cycle of convincing myself that I’m okay and there’s this voice that makes me feel so awful when I’m in an elevated state of emotion that tears me down. I don’t know what to do and I know people with BPD have a high rate of suicide which I’ve dodged a few times. But knowing that I can’t get help and nobody close to me understands what I go through is extremely scary for me..
Thanks for the video.
5:34 I strongly believe i do have a nervous system of steel 😂
I’d say move on. Trying to help a BPD risks destroying your own life. Sad but true.